How Are You Making Your Table Longer This Harvest Season?

As we wade into the gravy boat of activities, scramble to get all the different harvests in, on what is typically a busy fall weekend here in Canada, we bump up this Harvest Season for good reason. It’s a shorter season and often a weird season to grow in. Let’s chalk it up to living north of the 49th parallel and mostly why most of our communities hover close to the 49th parallel in the first place.

On the eve of all of the activities you are likely to be pulled into whether begrudgingly or willingly -- who is at your table during holidays like Canadian Thanksgiving?

Growing up my mom had a major rule for any holiday.

When I was little I didn’t understand the rule but I knew that one thing was certain: there was no certainty as to who would be surprising us by ringing the doorbell to join us at our table for a warm meal. It was often not family and it tended to be people who have nowhere else to gather. The goal my mom had was to put an end to loneliness for others. That might look like meeting newcomers at the supermarket and finding out that their family was abroad – they would be at our table. Or the person who grew up in the system who had no remaining family to speak of. They too join us.

The takeaway from this habit, instilled for me that combatting loneliness and sharing is an ongoing, universal thing and that when someone is put in your path you invite them in and simply make your table longer. Sometimes that means that you scratch the menu and just serve canapes because it's standing room only.

What comes to mind during this time is how we as Canadians honour and reconcile the past, with present and future giving an oath to do better for future generations.

As I address the intersectionality of my existence and how I interact with in the land in a more sustainable way of being, the seasons and the people of this great place called Canada, what to keep, what to give away and what to restore regardless of the colonial origins to the holiday, there is a point to commemoration and morphing how we celebrate while remaining true to the why we do it in the first place.

That task might seem impossible but given the mosaic of cultures that are represented as we sit and pause to celebrate both in the difficult times and less so, celebrating where you’re at and sharing with others, it is important to celebrate someone who may not normally darken your sphere of life. We all have people in our life like this.

What I mean by this, I mean the person that you may not invite over to your home to break bread with. We all have someone like that. Whether we have built up a narrative about them simply because we do not know a thing about their story.  The person that you distrust. The person who you might think is entitled. Maybe that person is direct family, maybe it’s a neighbour, maybe they sit on the other side of the political spectrum. The point is, if you stop and reflect, you know who they are for you.

And I’m not necessarily talking about inviting them into your home for a big elaborate meal because say for example that person might prefer being left alone and recognition for them might look different from what you assume. Their reasons for just wanting to be left alone because they are always with others and cooking. It might look like leaving a letter with a Skip the Dishes card on their doorstep. Or, giving the rest of your fresh veggies that you have in abundance to the local Food Bank.

Growing up, my father would remind us that there are a billion and one ways to grow up in this world and you only know one of those ways. Deconstruct then reconfigure how you understand and perceive existence through the lens of knowing and understanding other ways of existing is imperative for moving forward.

I think if there is anything to salvage in the colonial history intertwined with gathering and preserving season is that ability to share. Pay attention in a selfless and a quiet way. There doesn’t need to be grandstanding about it but giving away the best of your best because harvest season represents the time of plenty.

One of my favourite activities when I was growing up was going to this thing called Guess Who’s Coming to Lunch within my community.

Basically half the congregation of the local church that knew how to feed a crowd would sign up to host a family unit and then half the congregation that just needed a break or a hot meal in some way would sign up to be a guest.

You had no idea who was arriving and it just was the most thoughtful fun and engaging thing; it left such a great impression that I will carry with me forever.

Somehow in today’s age of allergens and specific dietary challenges it would feel hard but the hardship is washed away by the simple exercise of going outside your comfort zone with someone who might totally be a stranger to you and getting to know them on a deeper level.

I always looked forward to those surprise lunches. It taught me about other people’s palates and cultures. I remember that my favourite bowl of borscht was served to me at one of those Guess Who’s Coming to Lunch afternoons. I have yet to have had something as delicious since.

It is hard to accept that the minute you open that door, someone that might be classified as different than what you, make you uncomfortable, a non-friend might be standing there holding a loaf of bread that might just be able to make your taste buds sing or you might discover your newest favourite recipe.

So as you honour and reflect as we move into this time of posturing over how to celebrate and honour differently, I ask: how are you going to change the way you celebrate this year with consideration for that person that you think of as your polar opposite? Are they at your table? And if not, how can you recognize them in a way that will meet them where they are at? No one said that Canadian Thanksgiving has to be a carbon copy for you as it is for everyone else. Maybe you start a Guess Who's Coming to Lunch in your neighbourhood. The point is to just figure out how to make extra room at your table.

Enjoy your time this Harvest Season during Canadian Thanksgiving as you gather with those around you however that may look.

~ Kelsey ~